"What's Real and What's For Sale" oil and gold/silver leaf on black canvas 6'x2.5' 2004. I had just moved to Seattle and got a job at New Orleans (a blues bar). When I was hired the owner introduced me to Rach and exclaimed that Rach was from Brazil. Rach turned to me and said: "I'm from Chicago!" It was that moment we became friends. I was eager to make new friends since I was in a new city so I came up with the idea of getting the girls at work to pose for me for this painting. I asked them all to bring a piece of sentimental jewelry. This has always worked in enticing the people involved to automatically like my finished art by plucking at their emotional strings. It also helped me get to know them better so their eyes and face would speak to me. Usually after I am on a roll with super deep paintings that pluck at my own emotional strings, I find it therapeutic to place myself in my art. I made a wager that I could give them a boob job without the cost, so I decided an aerial view to show off the cleavage. In many ways this was a fun let loose painting to make new friends and to love myself kinda piece. It's also homage to the band STP who embraced my art and showed me love in my skills in art. This is also a statement about to get the boob job or not? Thus "What's Real and What's for Sale"
Rejected Obsession
"Rejected Obsession" oil and enamel on black canvas 2005. I made this in one sitting. I think it's a tale of the virgin mind with death lurking behind her. As she looks to the future she sees only animalistic desires that date back to primitive times. It's a tribal piece on obsession over what you feed your mind and coming to conclusion: it's best to reject once you get too deep. This is for the times I take in too heavy of subject matters then submerge myself into the deep abyss of my own mind. Sometimes I must get rejected to move on while others I choose to reject. Either or it's the inflation of deflating and knowing when to just let go.
Cali or Bust
"Cali or Bust" oil on enameled panel 2005. This is homage to two old friends from Alabama, tho I made this living in Seattle at the time. Parago my now southern German friend had went to LA yet hated it so she moved back. I took this photo of her before leaving. Little did I know I'd go to Cali and never come back. Hollywood always irked me, when deciding where I wanted to live for a city I declined LA at first and went to Seattle. Once three years passed in the cold damp northwest I decided it was time to nurture my photo career. I decided LA would I conquer. Before I moved across country my friend Parago gave me two books: The Alchemist and Photographs of Ron Galella. "The Alchemist" changed my life and introduced me to very like minded people like a buddy from Egypt who went onto being drummer to Seal. One book helped me meet the right people to realize this journey. The other taught me about the need for iconic photos but not at the style Id ever go about. Now after shooting major awards ceremonies and seeing the emotion after, I surrender back to my own talent: my art. The more art I do year after year I understand my personal legend I've created. I've always noticed my art competes with my photography and both embrace each other. I've realized once I accomplish something, I need not to repeat it so I move onto the next. Im moving onto the next and it's the imaginative calling me. I look back at these two books and I see irony in who I am. I don't think I'll ever stop taking pictures but now I just want to shoot what inspires me. Making art after 30 years has placed me in the ultimate realm of spirituality yet the rebellion in me needs the real raw truth. To balance these worlds I'm learning to cater and nurture. I want more from life, I want to inspire more in it. I love this balance I've made of how to charm the finest of status quo verses the need to love the simpler life. Maybe it's the Alabama in me but I find fancy parties a bore and would rather the chill and cozy. I like talking intellectually,philosophically, and finding a solution to all this dismay. I never stop bleeding this heart of mine. I wanna stay true to me.
Crime Mercurius
"Crime Mercurius" - oil on black canvas 2003. I made this missing my closest girl friends but I also included my new friends when moving to Santa Barbara. I was heavy into reading Jung and was chatting with my mentor trying to figure my angle in making a photography career. I found loneliness while attending school but luckily I met a friend from Seattle who's daughters really truly lightened my heart. When in the midst of this painting I was on a heavy Massive Attack and Portishead kick and as lovely as Santa Barbara was it lacked any real culture. I missed my home and the spirit of my friends I left behind. I named this painting in reference to my partners in crime as well as my need to be fluid with my art. Art for me is necessity and not about the money. I cannot paint with money in mind, it needs to be from a pure place. So I dressed this piece up nicely and it also holds a riddle: Lust is less then or equal to a heart of gold? To this day I smile for I've chosen wisely by staying true to my art.~ tbfree
Ps.. This painting enticed me to move to Seattle, lol
Je T'aime Mon Ami
"Je T'aime Mon Ami" oil on black canvas 2004. I had this in my mind when I was moving to Seattle. It was my first piece in my new space in Seattle. It was election time and I was anti-Bush. We were at war and I was frustrated by this, so I decided to make a Peace painting. At the time my mentor introduced me to Fela Kuti which I fell in love with so much it made the art for me. I was also reading Bukowski's "What Matters Most is how well you walk through the Fire" and "Burning in Water,Drowning in Flame."My idea was a peace dove woman who had walked through the fire while rising above. In Cantenese it says "NO War" and the African dancers are summoning the rain gods to put this fire out.At the time the French were the only country who declined in getting involved with this war so I titled this piece in French as homage.It's also homage to my mentor for complimenting me on my art and inspiring me to stay true to myself by painting.
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Self Eden
"Self Eden" oil on black canvas 4.5x3' 2004. This was part of my black art series and my ultimate feminist statement. I find it very intriguing that woman is damned from the very first moment as role of woman. The story of Eve being entranced by a serpent to eat from the forbidden tree of knowledge. May I ask why is this a bad thing? This is a tale of Eve trying to paint herself white to rid the negative voices from her head yet the serpent reminds her all the color she met on her journey and how could she want to live without color? Self Eden is about seeing the voices clearly and knowing how to deal with them. Society has not made it easy to be a woman. To give art my all would be at a cost, but a lovely lesson in living and surviving. At this time I always wore this necklace my grandparents gave my mother of a dancing goddess from India. I wore that necklace to remind me of the woman I wanted to become. As I've grown into the woman I am today I will say I learned a lot about being beautiful living very simple in order to paint and continue to paint with my heart. I've learned if a religion needs me to play a role where there are tons of rules on me being a woman verses very little rules for man, I say no. Society is also a cruel beast by what it teaches our young girls defining what makes a beautiful woman. How could we be so cruel to Eve in the way we do? I think the best she did is let me eat that fruit of knowledge. It's been a long journey in ridding these negative voices that tell me I still haven't perfected my beauty but I have done it. Eve was actually the first true rebel and I'm happy she gave me knowledge as to becoming this woman of today. Knowledge has taught me how to truly see the world I live in and how to stand proud of the beauty of myself inside and out. I now know beauty is something more then a pretty face and body it's about being strong minded yet letting my heart out to play with color. Looking back, I'm glad I never let go of my imagination. A woman's mind is the true "Self Eden." #Love
Crucifying the Truth
Another oil on black canvas piece. This one I made while living with my friend and her two daughters. She lived in the guest house of This family ( grandson of Rogers from Rogers and Hammerstein) in Montecito, Ca. Let me tell you when you are a poor girl from Birmingham, Al and you move to a place where the richest people in the world live its culture shock. Thus a very dark and rebellious brewed art such as this piece "Crucifying the Truth" which came after "Ethos" in reaction to being at war. This piece is me embracing feminism and is about the first original tattoos found around the world. Back then women were not always allowed to get tattoos so some women went to other tribes to get them but once they did, they were not allowed back to their own tribe. So these women had to walk their own path in life without a tribe. A character trait I know too well. This story is about a woman who's eyes are green with life yet she has been noosed and crucified for choosing her path. She is slipping into the grey of all the lies she sees and the cruelty of mankind. An angel (my friends daughter;) comes down to heal her heart. While she is sinking quickly, she looks up to all those tribes she met on her path and they pull her up out of the grey. She is embraced by the color of the world and has hope again that being a good human defines the Angels in this world. Oil on black hand stretched 6'x3' canvas 2004
(Funny I just remembered I put a polished jasper blood stone pendent my grandfather made, actually I have a thing for putting sentimental jewelry in all my pieces when it works)
Ethos
Another piece that I've had many offers to buy but I refuse to sell it. "Ethos": What's yours these days? Men in S&M masks consumed by Media,Politics,War,Religion,Bullshit,Bullshit. While the blue collared worker foresees the future of a world blown to pieces and the deaths that will lie. He prays even tho he's bewildered by what can be bought or sold. The suit and tie with a Ready-Made bar code encrypted at the will of lust and power. In a world where Everything is for Sale, can we buy mercy? Or can we at least steal it and tuck it away as finders keepers? Either way this is my Ethos. What's yours these days? Oil and enamel on canvas 2004 #makeArtNotWar
Soul Shakedown
"Soul Shakedown" one of my reggae art pieces, I was commissioned by a friend to make this as her anniversary gift to her husband. He says he sits in front of it when he plays the guitar;) oil and enamel on canvas 2001 ( I had artist block at the time so I took a bucket of ice threw it on the canvas then spray painted the ice, wiped it off then the vision came from that, I left my colors transparent so you could see its texture and in this I wanted to show movement while performing, viola)
Ripped Off Blues
So I sold a lot of blues and reggae art back in Birmingham, Al. I wish I could find some of my best pieces but this is the only photo I have. I used to make so many blues paintings I got blues'd out from blues music. I called this "Ripped Off Blues" for the fiancé was supposed to buy this at a certain price but her guy wrote the check instead, he shorted me a $100.This was the beginning of my series of black canvas paintings. At least the money went to me leaving for the west coast;)
Death to Innocence, Birth of Mind
"Death to Innocence, Birth of Mind" oil on 6'x2'canvas 2003. This came after "Conception of Hope" and I was getting settled at Brooks. People are funny, when you tell them your plans ESP if they are ambitious, they will tell you it's impossible. Luckily, I believe in optimism even at my darkest hour. After my cousin was killed in a car wreck, a week later my grandfather passed. My grandfather was a Renaissance Man, and so was my grandmother. These two believed in my dreams and gave me every creative tool I needed to succeed.They made me the woman I am. Growing up my whole life in Alabama I learned to see the truth but also soul. After my boss's wife passed that same year, I decided it was time to move to California. So I took a chance and got accepted to Brooks. As I planned my exciting move to Santa Barbara,Ca I remember some trying to call my bluff. I smiled, for nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough. I remember my friend bailing on moving me last minute,so my mom volunteered.My mom is cool like that, when it came to my dreams, she believed in me. So we did this crazy long road trip across country. We had a tiny budget for rent but we found this fairytale house in Montecito, Ca with a room at low rent. As we pulled up I fell in love with the orange,lemon, avocado trees, the white picket fence and even a well in front. As we checked the room, it had a separate attic room attached. I was excited, cause wherever I go so does my easel. As we chatted I told her I was a painter,she offered me her garage to paint in. The next day I awoke to a beautiful view of the mountains and a beach minutes away. This was heaven I thought. As my mom left back to Alabama, I realized I was in paradise alone and a very poor young girl. The world seemed almost fake to me. I was living in paradise while we were at war. That's heavy to take in at a young age. So I studied CG Jung Dreams and wrote down my dreams. I was in search for an understanding of reality. I gave up loved ones to be here and tears flooded my face. Here I was no longer innocent to the world but awakened in my mind. This was the beginning not the end. ~tbfree
Bound to the Unconditional
"Bound to the Unconditional" oil on canvas 2001. I was still living in my hometown Birmingham, Al at the time. I was waitressing,selling art, and shooting my favorite bands. I lived in the Highland area of downtown Birmingham where I was walking distance to my favorite punk and blues bars. I could only be out so long before my painting craving took over and brought me home to lock myself up to dance and make art. I was tired of the blues art so I started this painting which was one of my first of the think pieces I now do. This one is as it is titled about unconditional love. In this story the woman is in the shadows yet is the main focal point. A man who wears his love like the tattoos on his back,sports his openness of his heart on his sleeves. He is bound by this unconditional love confession of prayers. As the woman he is mesmerized by whispers in his ears her dreams of peace he surrenders his mind to her ideas. He is naked with mind, heart, and lust. As many would like to keep the woman in the shadows, this particular woman is ok being in the shadows for she finds good color here. Though she may be in the shadows she is in control of the seduction of this man. Her place is perfect in subliminally making what she wants from the definition of unconditional love. With her rosary of hope she binds man to love openly and honestly. We are all deserving of love however way we find it. The goal is to train our minds to see past the shadows and find beauty in every crevice of life. If looking openly one can find the most radiant color in the darkest of places, then don't be afraid to love openly for we should all be "Bound to the Unconditional"
#oilpainting #Love
Lakeview Mural
I miss this place that no longer exists. My mural was inspired by my boss's logo for his restaurant that was an old mansion. The 2 story mansion had such old character I loved it. When I made this I was in love with the bartender at the time and for some reason I couldn't talk to him I was tongue tied. At the time my boss's wife was really sick from a fast growing cancer. He sunk all of his money in this restaurant yet had to take care of his wife. My heart went out to him so I asked him if I could decorate the restaurant so we could attract more customers. Weekend after weekend I slaved at this mural and decorated both floors. I did all the work for free. It was here in return karma took care of me. The first few paintings I placed on the walls were sold before I got to hang them. This place became my gold mine for selling art while I waitressed. It wasn't long and people in Birmingham, Al knew who I was as the artist of Lakeview OH. Little did the bartender know that all I really wanted was him but selling art was good. I'm so glad he broke my heart cause I would've never set on my journey to the west coast and transcended even more with my series of NFS art. And now here I am going back to hopefully a series that will have this kind of magic again. #love
Angel of Deep Blue
"Angel of Deep Blue" a painting that haunted me so bad I moved to California. Just you wait, my art gets me to do some bizarre things and this one is more about love and death. This one dates back to 2002 at a time I was doing some serious soul searching. A lot of my work deals with fire and water, it's all metaphorical in what I am reading. At this time I was reading Taoism and Nietzsche, with a love for Bukowski. I'm a Truth Teller with my art but I find the truth mainly unromantic and needs to be pretty. This piece is 1'x3' ink on sheer synthetic is of a dragon that flows through out 3/4 of this piece while the mask and face are at the bottom of the deep blue. Part of the story is about a blue faced angel fish and how they are solitary fish unless they find their soulmate. I had the idea while trying to love again after surviving a violent past but my emotions and insecurities got the best of me so I destroyed it. I recreated it the day I found out my favorite cousin was killed in a car wreck. I worked with him for years trying to get him to believe in himself which was hard since he was raised in an abusive family. He was 19 and got accepted to Alabama University, I was so proud til the day I got the call he was dead. People don't understand grieving til you rip down a curtain and place it on a glass table and paint your tears away in which I did that day. I realized I wanted to love but it's so hard when you are battling mental scars of something that weighed you down to the darkest spot of the ocean of chaos. Truth can be so ugly that the only true way to speak it is through a poem. Poetry came out of me in this one along with titles of some of my favorite Pearl Jam songs encrypted within. Pearl Jam was the voice that got me to survive a violent past. "Angel of Deep Blue"
Angel of deep blue
Vibrant are your hues
In your world I go it alone
Swam beyond the black
Wonder how you live
In hiding or out of reach.
Waves push me, pull me
Through your depths I see
But your garden I cannot feed.
Thin air devours me
The sun shines so far away
Through low light you guide me safe.
Drifting in your sea
I am free to be
In my world without a leash.
~tbfree